Groups
FMO (For Men Only)
These groups deal exclusively with men and sexual addiction/compulsive sexual behavior and their spouses who suffered in large part because of this issue.
WHAT IS A CONFIDENTIAL FMO IMPACT GROUP?
- A safe place to share your thoughts and behaviors – the good, the bad, and the ugly.
- A two-hour weekly meeting with like-minded men all struggling with sexual addiction.
- A place of acceptance where you will build a safety plan to help prevent future relapse.
- A meeting dedicated to the study of a Christian curriculum with an end goal of healthy sexuality.
- A place of discipleship where “iron sharpens iron” and men mature in the community.
FMO - A Small Group Overview: The 40/60/20 Format
Our For Men Only small groups are structured in God’s grace around accountability and knowledge. We need both in the healing process, but there is a reason why we must put accountability first. Our addictive lifestyles are built on isolation allowing us to keep our secrets. For disclosure to happen, for recovery to begin and healing to take place there can be no secrets. Therefore, we must move toward vulnerable transparency, practiced first in our FMO group, then with our family and significant friends.
With that in mind, men in FMO groups will spend the first 40-minutes evaluating the previous week’s behavior using the FASTER Scale relapse awareness exercise. You will learn how to use this tool during the two to three meetings of the First Steps process before you attend a group. We can learn much by evaluating the previous week’s behavior; how and why things went well or how and why we have fallen anywhere from Forgetting Priorities to Speeding Up to Relapse or moral failure.
Each person will share their self-evaluation guided by the leader with the entire group of up to 5 or 6 men or in smaller groups of 3 or 4 as needed. We will read what we have written. Your small group leader or partners will ask “why” questions if they believe your answers need clarification and/or expansion.
The 60-minute center segment is devoted to the pursuit of knowledge through the current curriculum over and above what you are learning through your devotional life, formal teaching of the Word, and persona journaling. For you to experience the value of accountability you must gain both knowledge and a greater sense of self-awareness (applied knowledge).
Our primary curriculums are Pure Desire Ministries International Seven Pillars of Freedom workbook and The Genesis Process for Change workbooks One and Two. You will study valuable information on false intimacy involved with porn use and self-sex, false belief systems at the root of your insecurities, sexual addiction, and more importantly, you will acquire a greater sense of where you are in your addiction and how you arrived at this place in life. These materials will also give you the tools to risk change and by faith increase your hope!
The last 20-minutes, of each meeting, are devoted to the creation of a new step in your safety/relapse prevention plan and identifying accountability partners for the coming week. This will entail the use of the double bind worksheet to define the obstacle (or problems) you identified in your FASTER Scale. You will then create a plan to overcome them and share with your accountability partners what this plan looks like in action – who, what, where, why, and when.
FWO (For Women Only)
The For Women Only Ministry of the Nathan Project is a recovery program comprised of 3 interactive closed confidential support groups and workshops. They provide a safe place for open honest discussion of issues and concerns facing spouses or ex-spouses of men involved with the use of pornography, sexual addiction, and other sexually compulsive behaviors.
The support groups and workshops, curriculums, and supporting materials are designed to provide a gateway of opportunity for change and health. This occurs through teaching, sharing, and a thorough understanding of Biblical principles that undergird a woman’s personal growth.
Through disclosure of our fears and concerns to one another by listening and sharing knowledge, we increase our own abilities to deal with the circumstance of the day, clarity of thought, and personal effectiveness. In so doing we develop and maintain healthy boundaries. We help each other find significance and encourage one another to move outside our comfort zones and recognize our personal values and true identity in Jesus Christ. Our hope and our goal are to recognize our potential for personal healing through the power of the Holy Spirit.
The Nathan Project also offers FWO closed confidential spousal support groups
“Betrayal and Beyond”: Healing for Broken Trust
These groups use three workbooks written by Diane Roberts of Pure Desire Ministries International (www.puredesire.org). It is recommended that you take at least three months to complete each workbook.
For support group “Betrayal and Beyond” information, contact:
Vicki Kardos –The Nathan Project – FWO (For Women Only)
New Hampshire
Vicki@nathanproject.net – (603) 682-7828
Darlene Tilton
Serving Greater Portland, Maine Community
Standish, ME
smd6307@yahoo.com – (603) 793-6602
WHAT WE DO IN FMO
- Begin building an intimate relationship with God by His grace trusting in Him.
- Participate in a detailed plan of study, accountability, and commitment to change.
- Study the resource material and engage the curriculum by completing all assignments.
- Live in accountability with FMO brothers sharing struggles and victories with authenticity.
WHAT FMO IS NOT
- An unsafe place of criticism, condemnation, shame, or confusion.
- A place of denial where the addiction to obsessive and compulsive sexual behaviors is ignored.
- A secret place where men wear masks to hide their fears, faults, and feelings.
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